Brain-work is a one way connection Chapter 3

 

Of all the empty places on the table, why did it have to land right on the groin area?

It’s as if it is declaring itself a clam. And it instinctively knows where to settle with its mouth wide open.

If it had stopped there, the situation could have been brushed off as a minor mishap. It would have been a bit embarrassing, but that would have been my problem, filled with lewd thoughts as I was, and it would have ended with Baek Eun-soo telling me it was okay.

The fact that it didn’t end there was not the clam’s fault, nor the fault of Baek Eun-soo’s suspected germophobia, but mine.

In front of a ‘man’, a creature I was encountering up close for the first time, and even more so in the face of the fact that there was someone who fit my ideal type, I was so flustered that I jumped up to manage the situation.

The table rose with me. There was a graceful clattering sound, and the pasta plate flew in a beautiful parabola.

"Have you heard of parabolic motion?"

Gravity. Damn gravity.

The expression on Baek Eun-soo’s when it was covered in seafood cream pasta, like a bolt from the blue, was indescribable.

So, I cleaned him up. Though unintentionally, I had thrown it, after all.

"Reenact it for us. I’ll be the fiancé, and this will be his dick."

Kim Min-ji, who had gone mad from her job at a major corporation, placed a soju bottle at her waistband.

"Hey. What good is a man without his balls?"

Park Ji-young, who had gone mad from her job at a public corporation, added two round ashtrays to the soju bottle from who knows where.

"This just looks like a heap of balls. Here, let’s use these instead.”

Lee Seo-hyun, who had gone mad from preparing for the level 7 civil service exam, removed the ashtrays and placed two boiled eggs next to the soju bottle.

"Oh dear, I’m so sorry! Let me wipe that for you."

I, who had gone mad after ruining a meal with my to-be-fiance, carefully wiped the green soju bottle with a wet wipe.

"Throb."

"Hey. No one gets an erection audibly."

"It’s not right?"

"No."

"Pulse."

"Ah, I’m saying that’s not it. It’s not the sound. The erection of a living man is silent."

Was it silent? I seemed to have heard a faint pulsing sound.

"Why are you all acting like virgins?"

"Except for you, we’re all virgins here, Ji-young."

"Guys, if we’re going to discuss this again, we should first settle whether a virgin who uses tools is still a virgin..."

"Let’s be fair and define what a 'virgin' is first!"

"Keep your voices down. It's embarrassing."

Anyway, as I was diligently cleaning Baek Eun-soo’s groin, I suddenly realized what I was wiping wasn’t a dildo or vibrator, but an actual penis belonging to a third party.

It was impressive. My cookie radar was correct. Even through his dress pants, I could feel that his penis was indeed substantial.

It was a relief that Baek Eun-soo didn’t report me for sexual harassment on the spot. He seemed just as embarrassed and rambled on, making excuses about how he had skipped his morning workout due to a busy schedule.

Even then, I was still staring dazedly at him from between his legs. Specifically, at his sexy Adam's apple. It was only when he called my name that I snapped out of it.

After staring at his beet-red face for a few seconds, I fled the restaurant.

I won’t ever have to see him again, right? I hope not. The likes of a second date. It wasn’t even a proper matchmaking meeting from the start. At most, there might be a request to break the engagement.

However, I’m dead if I go home today.

"Can someone let me stay over for just one night?"

Shelter me from my mom.

Seeing how my phone has been buzzing like a clit suction toy for a while now, the news might have already reached them.

"Hey, but doesn’t the fact that he got hard mean he felt some sort of sexual attraction to you?

"No. He said his hobby is working out and that he skipped a day because he was busy."

"Oh."

What will happen to me? Will my life of comfort, funded by my parents' money, end here?

But despair didn’t last long. I got into high spirits hanging out with my crazy friends, who poured out the soju, guzzled the beer, and scooped the beer glass with a spoon¹, all while making obscene sounds.

¹Drinking habit of scooping the beer glass with a spoon, causing it to fizz up.

That’s right. What’s the big deal about half-assaulting and arousing my to-be-fiancé? A woman’s life is bound to be full of this or that incident.

At a karaoke bar we visited using my mom’s card, we each sang the title tracks of our favorite oppas and drank heavily. In crates.

Feeling like our gathering was too focused on partying, we even found a cocktail bar and shared our life stories.

"Let's decide by majority vote. The penis, shaved or unshaved!"

It was an important discussion, reflecting each of our life philosophies and values.

"I, Lee Seo-hyun, one vote for unshaved. Reason: It’s masculine."

"Kim Min-ji, one vote for unshaved. Reason: It’s manly."

"Park Ji-young, one vote for unshaved. Reason: male."

"Why? I prefer shaved. It’s more visible."

That earned me a beating.

I took the first train home after thoroughly completing my hangover cure. At ease, thinking that Mom had probably already left, I opened the front door.

"Ahhh!"

Unaware that my mother, in her blood-red pajamas, was preparing to color me the same shade.

Hearing my scream, Dad and the housekeeping ajummas rushed out. Honey! Madam! Though I had screamed, no one called my name.

“It’s okay; go back to sleep."

"M-, Mom….”

"It’s not okay for you. Follow me."

I sent my dad a distress signal. He quietly made the sign of the cross.

"What on earth did you do to President Baek’s son?"

Uh, I kind of half-assaulted him.

"What did you do for them to ask to delay the wedding by 50 years?"

Right. Since gray divorces are trendy, gray marriages could be too. Though I’m surprised, it’s not just a broken engagement.

"I don’t know. But I won’t get married. It was clear we weren’t compatible."

How do you expect me to marry a man who avoids eating out because it’s unsanitary?

Such men are the type to fuss about cleanliness while leaving the housework to their wives! They’re the type to finger-check for dust while nagging about how poorly their wife has cleaned!

I can’t live the rest of my life like that, having to eat alone like a pig every time we go to a restaurant.

"Get married."

"I don’t want to!"

"Then get a job."

“...!”

There it is. The unparalleled, cowardly tactic of Korean parents. The so-called "If you’re going to be like this, leave.”

"Choose whether you’ll help fill the career gap caused by giving birth to you when I got married once,"

Married once? I wonder if there’s such a thing as twice married.

"Or pursue your financial independence. It’s your choice."

I imagined married life with Baek Eun-soo. Not the sex life, but the married life.

He’d wake up and work out, and believing my hobby is Hatha yoga, he’d wake me up. Despite the fact that I’m but a moldspore who sleeps till 10 AM.

Not only would it be torturous enough  to live together with mismatched lifestyles, but he would also clean every day.

Is he also the type to do laundry every day? Surely, he wouldn’t be the terrifying kind who does the dishes right after every meal, would he?

"A-as if you think I can’t do it! "

Getting a job would be better.

The only men I will ever marry, past or future, would be either the male robots I develop myself, or a man who meets all of Baek Eun-soo’s qualifications, without the mysophobia.

 

***

 

"Professor~"

When life gets tough alone, seek help from those around you.

"It’s been a while since I contacted you, right?"

Since humans are social animals. Since I don’t have the confidence to overcome job insecurity on my own, I decided to ask for help.

The person I sought help from was Professor Baek Jae-young, who helped me during my college years, to the point that it was almost suspicious.

Come to think of it, Professor Baek was also a Baek.

"No worries. I was thinking of contacting you too."

"Why? Is there something wrong with the department?"

“It’s nothing. I just thought of making you my daughter-in-law."

"You’re still joking about that!"

His sharp eyes somewhat resembled those of Baek Eun-soo’s.

But if that logic holds, since Korea is a homogeneous country, everyone would be distant relatives once removed, and we would all be one big neighborhood. Let’s set aside personal matters for now, and focus on my future plans.

As starting my own research lab would be impossible even if I did win the lottery, my options are either getting married or finding a job.

"Professor, I hate to ask, but I really want to find a job now. Do you know of any research institutes that have openings?”

Let’s go with finding a job.

"Oh no. Unfortunately, there are no openings at the research institute right now. Is it urgent?"

"Yes."

Otherwise, I'll be sold off as my mother’s business asset.

"If private companies are okay with you, my son’s company is hiring soon. I think someone like you would be a good fit. How does it sound?"

What do you mean, how does that sound?

"Sounds great."

I wasn’t in a position to be picky.

I should have been picky. Just like water and fire don’t mix¹, I should have been picky too.

¹물불을 가리다" is a Korean expression that means to differentiate or discriminate between water and fire. It implies being selective or cautious in making decisions, especially between things that are obviously different or have clear distinctions. It can also mean to be discerning in one's choices.

"I’m Baek Eun-soo, the team leader of the R&D team."

If I’d known the fiance I embarrassed would be my boss, I would have reconsidered the position.

I got the job after much difficulty. I passed the competitive hiring process at Silla Electronics with a 100:1 ratio, and thanks to my proactive approach during the interview, I was able to join the R&D team of the home appliance division, which closely aligned with my dreams.

"Nice to meet you."

But why is Baek Eun-soo here...?

 

***

 

Professor Baek Jae-young.

He helped me a lot, not by giving me good grades or secretly submitting my resume to his son's company.

On the contrary, he was the furthest from words like grade manipulation or nepotism; he was impartial to the point of being cold-hearted.

"Don’t take it too personally. As someone who raised three sons, if I don’t do this, they tend to fight among themselves."

As someone who always ate both chicken legs by myself, I couldn’t understand his sons fighting over the exact grams of chicken, but one thing was clear:

"These are materials my son used when preparing for a job at Silla Electronics, and these are the contact details for our department’s interview study group. I’ve already reached out to them, so you can introduce yourself later."

"Thank you."

I’m benefiting from this right now. It’s not like I would be upset just because he didn’t directly submit my resume to the company.