Brain-work is a one way connection Chapter 1

Everyone has probably had this thought at least once when they were young:

"What if the person next to me could hear, see, or feel what I'm thinking?"

Such an idea is undeniably adorable and childlike.

Back then, the most I ever thought about was whether to buy tape or candy to eat from the stationery store after school.

However, things are a bit different now that I'm an adult. What if the person next to me could hear, see, or feel my thoughts now?

What do you mean by ‘what if’. That wouldn’t do. The situation would no longer be cute-it’d be terrifying.

Why? Because this is a company, my team leader is sitting next to me.

"I want to masturbate."

And because I'm a pervert.

 

***

 

I am a pervert. I realized this when I was seven years old.

It was a children’s animation I got to watch thanks to the parental inconvenience of taking care of a child in their naughty sevens¹.

¹미운 일곱 살: An expression used to describe the tendency of children around seven years old to be naughty and cause much trouble.

My reaction to these shows was a bit peculiar compared to my peers’.

The scream at the scene where the heroine was kidnapped? It wasn't a cry that came from an extraordinary sense of justice.

"Oh no!"

I screamed because I liked it too much.

Moreover, when the kidnapped heroine despaired at her inability to escape, and lost the light in her eyes, my eyes would sparkle with an unparalleled gleam.

But I wouldn’t turn an eye during the transformation scenes with the magical girls. If only I could, I would have removed those damn sparkles and droplets covering the girl's chest with my own hands.

The heroine, trapped in an iron cage? Handcuffs and shackles? Time and time again, I would rewatch those scenes. When there were no reruns, I would comb through the local video store.

"Ma'am, I want to borrow the episode where Lena's mom gets captured by the Dark Lord and is locked in the underground prison."

"Just that one?"

"Yes."

"This is the third time you're borrowing it. Are you going to borrow it again?"

"Yes."

My needs were already clearly established and specified from an early age.

How many people in the world know that "pervert" is short for "perverted sexual desire"?

And how many people would recognize themselves as perverts?

"Let's undress the Barbie doll and lock her in prison, and the guard can be the teddy bear. Let's stack their bodies together."

"Why?"

"Because it looks nice."

"But, Yui, isn't this a bit... a strange game?"

"Yes, it is."

In that sense, one can say I have excellent self-awareness. In other words, I'm smart.

But claiming to be smart is a very dangerous claim that can provoke those with too much time on their hands and those with twisted insides¹, so let me list a few examples.

¹배알이 꼬인다: When someone's actions or behavior are displeasing and make you feel irritated or annoyed, it's described as '배알이 꼬인다' (your insides are twisted).

First of all, relationships. I don't do relationships.

Aside from my sexual preferences being perverted, I was very firm in my physical preferences.

The hair must be jet black. If not, death penalty. The eyebrows must be straight, which is the essence of male eyebrows. Among those, my inclination is for thick, slightly groomed, straight eyebrows. If not, death penalty. A sharp nose. If not, death penalty. The jawline must be sharp, and the lips should not be too thin. Likewise, death penalty if not.

Here's where it gets important: the chest.

Isn’t it so that the male body is a system optimized for building muscle?

Accordingly, broad shoulders and a firm chest, and if there are no abs, death penalty.

The gluteus and thigh muscles are also important; if they're not firm, this also calls for a death penalty.

Another crucial point: the penis. In crude terms, cock. Or dick. If not long, thick, and sturdy, death penalty. There’s no room for extenuating circumstances; it’s just the death penalty.

It’s the smaller ones that are spicy¹? That's my least favorite saying. Only those radiating BDE can save the world. Also known as BIG, DICK, ENERGY.

¹ It’s a wordplay of 고추, which means pepper in addition to penis. By saying that the smaller ones are spicy, it’s indirectly saying that size doesn’t matter.

However, even a man who meets all these stringent physical criteria, cannot be my romantic partner. He must also satisfy my most important condition, a ‘point’.

It’s the same principle behind there being handsome men you are not attracted to. There must be a specific ‘point’ that catches my fancy.

That ‘point’ being the culmination of both my sexual and physical preferences: shoes.

I have a filthy desire to have my precious parts firmly trampled on by the shoes of a man who meets all these conditions.

But since I can't let just anyone trample on my precious parts, the role of this ‘point’ was very important.

Is there any man who fits all these conditions, with overall strong features and an oddly sharp vibe?!

There wasn't. Unfortunately, the world I live in only has coarse flour rice cakes and dried anchovies.

Rice cakes. Fish. Rice cakes. Fish. Sometimes something so hideous it's not even worth the crumbs of a rice cake or fish...

Am I really living on the same land with the same species? Are they really human beings belonging to the order of primates?

After constantly facing those who reminded me of such thoughts, I eventually decided not to date.

Because dating is supposed to be enjoyable, and it’s unreasonable for one to feel mentally and physically distressed just by looking at the other.

Fortunately, I could still relieve my perverted desires without dating and greatly risking my eyesight deteriorating.

As a 21st-century adult woman, I turned my attention elsewhere. Where to?

[VIP Customer Appreciation Offer ~Special discount~]

To adult product websites.

I selected items with a heating function that goes up to 43 degrees and a vibrating function with six different patterns.

Although sometimes I felt a deep loneliness without having someone to tie me up and spank me, it was better than having sex with a squid. So far, I have been living happily and enjoying a relatively satisfying sexual life.

If I didn’t have this much sense, I might be having sex with those who can't even manage 100 thrusts per minute by now. So, I consider myself pretty smart.

Secondly, academics.

It might have been my mother's educational policy, who hated stupidity, rather than my passion for learning, but I graduated from an English kindergarten.

I swept awards in elementary school, showing versatility in all genres from a young age, and naturally, I spent three years in a special class for gifted students in middle school. And even among the gifted, I survived the survival of the fittest.

Like an example of Pareto's law, I dominated the top 20%, made local news with my grades, and entered a science high school.

However, even I, with my nose held high enough to pierce the stratosphere, came to face a small crisis.

"They’re handsome! While there are only squids and anchovies at school and on the streets! Our oppas have abs!"

It was the peak of puberty, a time when growth hormones were raging. It was the age when exploring the male body was more fun than studying itself.

“Get a grip and go to the academy before I tell the ajumma¹ to feed you nothing but cuttlefish and anchovies.”

¹Referring to the housekeeping maids of the family.

"What? Mom, are you on the teacher's side too?"

"I'm on my side."

I maintained good relationships with my peers for the sake of trading photo cards. I fostered friendships by attending concerts and music shows, and I neglected my grades for a while.

Looking back now, it was a necessary experience. Because being locked up in a cram school with a crazy schedule from 8 AM to 10 PM, I realized that even though I'm a pervert, I'm not into confinement play.

If it weren't for the excellent teachers who made us eat even dinner in the classroom, where else in this era of freedom would I have gained such insights? You only realize when you experience it, and by then, it’s too late.

Thanks to that, I achieved top grades, and while prestigious schools aren’t everything in life, I easily got into K University.

My major, in line with my no-dating policy and experience, was chosen with the heartfelt motto ‘If there are no men, I’ll create them’: Electrical Engineering.

I studied with the dream of developing male robots with a piston function of 500 strokes per minute. 

As my determination was different from that of those half-hearted students, I topped my classes for all four years.

I completed an internship at a prestigious large corporation and graduated with know-to-be-difficult honors.

I could have started working right away, but I took a break to travel abroad – to broaden my knowledge and horizons!

In truth, it was because I felt a bit lonely living a solo sexual life with just my wrist.

I flew across the sea with the hope that if I couldn’t find someone here, perhaps I could find someone across the sea.

"My dildo. My dildo. Sorry~"

I only experienced the embarrassment of public humiliation when my companion appliances were exposed at the airport security check. It turns out I wasn’t into humiliation play either.

Which brings us back to the original topic, the third reason that proves my intelligence.

Being, that I'm currently unemployed after a long trip.

As a pandemic swept the world, making it seem as if the world was coming to an end, and as a job insecurities continued, I decided not to waste my energy writing pointless resumes and instead focus on eating the potato chips in front of me. I call it my energy conservation strategy.

Isn't that smart? How could I be any smarter?

Knock, knock.

That was a different kind of knock¹. The knocking sounded brisk, as if to end my idle thoughts.

¹Wordplay with 똑똑 which means smart as well as the sound of knocking.

"Yes~"

"Han Yui."

"Yes, mother, who gave birth to me, raised me, and is still supporting me."

"Let's talk for a moment... What is this?"

"A collection of the abs and thighs of beautiful men."

"What are you going to do with this?"

What do you mean? I use it every night.

"It has its uses."

"Really? Then you must have your uses too."

"Of course."

"Yui, get married."

"W-what...?"

Get married?